“When should couples consider counseling?”
According to experts in couples counseling in Colorado, it is not uncommon for one spouse to be dissatisfied, distant, or be generally unhappy in terms of intimacy within a relationship.
However, rather than communicating about it, that spouse may initiate an affair with someone else, ignoring opportunities for reconciliation along the way. When a couple goes to counseling, the experience becomes the main issue, and the underlying causes and unhappiness are buried. Other sources of conflict, such as money issues or sexual concerns, follow the same pattern. Of course, couples shouldn’t delay until they’re in trouble to seek help, but how should they go about doing this?
When Is It Appropriate to Consult a Therapist?
Couples should seek treatment long before they feel “obligated” to do so. Therapy, according to most specialists, can be a crucial aspect of your marriage. When problems inside a relationship aren’t resolved, they eventually become so big that they eclipse both persons.
This is where counseling can help by resolving conflicts and providing different approaches for making the relationship work again. But, unfortunately, the vast majority of couples believe that they should have tried getting couples therapy years ago – long before things got worse.
Every story has three sides: his side, her side, and the truth. When couples believe they can no longer discuss successfully, an impartial third person can be just what they need. Rather than seeing therapy as a way to get out of a bad situation, think of it as an essential part of living a healthy life. Every couple, like going to the gym, should take preventive measures to keep their relationship healthy. Couples who do not exercise their emotional and relational ‘muscles’ become untoned, weak, and more likely to take more damage.
Although each therapist is unique, there are certain similarities. For example, the therapist will usually spend the first session getting to know you, addressing the areas of your relationship that you want to improve, and setting goals.
Some counselors, but not all, will assign homework to the couples to do before the next appointment. Couples seek counseling for several reasons, but in the opinion of many seasoned counselors, the most common concerns are communication, sex, significant life transitions, and money. Events like getting married and beginning a family are substantial issues, indeed.
Couples counseling can also be beneficial if one of you is dealing with a problem impacting your relationship (such as depression) or if you’re feeling stuck and sluggish in your marriage. In addition, therapy can give a safe environment in which to discuss delicate issues such as sex.
Couples can get stuck in a nasty sexual cycle, just like people get mired in an adversarial relationship cycle. Couples’ communications are also a significant challenge. However, merely chatting to each other more isn’t the solution. That’s where the counselor can come in to help.
Couples counseling may also be beneficial to you through times of significant life change and transition. For example, relocating, changing employment, losing jobs, becoming empty-nesters, dealing with extramarital affairs, recovering from substance abuse, and caring for aged parents are all significant transitions that can easily undermine a couple’s equilibrium in the long run.
Couples counseling can be quite beneficial in helping you and your partner get out of a rut.
Couples can talk about their sentiments and express how their marriage isn’t meeting their objectives in therapy. Yet, they share some common ground that has allowed them to stay together most of the time. If both people want to compromise in a way that meets individual requirements, the significant obstacle of ‘feeling trapped’ can be successfully overcome.
What If One of The Partners Is Adamant About Getting Couples Therapy?
In couples therapy, this is a pretty common circumstance. Experts advise having a lengthy conversation with your partner about why you’re considering couples counseling. Don’t just throw it at them and tell them they have to go.
If they continue to be apprehensive, keep in mind that you can go to counseling independently. This could be beneficial on its own. Rather than waiting for someone else to change who refuses to go to treatment, therapy can help you strengthen your personality and personal growth. These promising developments may persuade the hesitant partner to go ahead with treatment after all.